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The Cafe Shooting (1972)

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Cafe shooting 052912 8 gallery full export

It was fucking crazy

One fateful night in 1972, Michael Rosen's maniacal parents decided to go to this cafe, and they had loads to kill. There were many bystanders and victims; A terrifying food inspector, a boy called Hector, Cool Gay and Fool Gay, Laura Bouncyballs, Michael Plumson, 48 kids, a teacher (who was a bit fucked up), a whore, a drunk 2 year old, Queen Fatass, The Prime Minister, Lollipop Lady  with a lollipop in her ass, and Coppercab, the ginger who was spastic as ever.

The ShootingEdit

It was then, Michael Rosen's parents took out the explosives. Then, his dad begins to put hundreds of bombs around the cafe. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them. And there was no one who could escape, because if you tried to they'd blow up, and that's what happened to Cool Gay and Fool Gay, after mistakenly stepping onto bombs to get out the room. Boom, Cool Gay and Fool Gay were dead. And then Michael's mum took out her shotgun and began to murder people like mad. His dad, what does he do, he stuffs a great big bomb into the inspector's mouth, and that really does it. He blows up! His head bursted, and mum starts shooting people. It was fucking crazy! Not long after, Queen Fatass called 999, the English emergency number).

Later that day, the police came in, and said "What happened?" so Queen Fatass said "Are you fucking blind, you shitheads?! There's blood all over the walls!" So now, the police go upstairs, and there they were. "Stop right there criminal scum, you violated the law," said the officer. So now Michael's dad walked in with this really huge bazooka and he blows the police into bits and pieces. It was then, his mum and dad ran out the door and got away as fast as they could, but once they were outside they were surrounded by the police. Then an officer called Georgybo said "Drop the gun and put your hands up into the air where I can see them, you murdering rats!" Both of Michael's parents put their hands up, and were sent to prison.

DeathsEdit

Cool Gay and Fool Gay were killed by the bombs, the 48 kids and drunk 2 year old were killed by Michael's mum's shotgun, the terrifying food inspector was killed by a bomb stuffed into his mouth, Laura Bouncyballs, Hector, Lollipop Lady, and a teacher were killed by Michael's mum's machine gun. Several police officers were blown into bits 'n pieces by Michael Rosen's dad, using a bazooka.

SurvivorsEdit

Queen Fatass, The Prime Minister, Michael Plumson, and Coppercab were the only survivors. Queen Fatass called the police after she survived, The Prime Minister resumed to his duties, and Coppercab raised a family, including his son, who later became a famous internet celebrity. Nobody knows what Michael Plumson did after the massacre.

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